Stronger than You
by Gemini Artemis
Summary: On Homeworld, Jasper gets infatuated with Yellow Pearl. Garnet was right when she sang, "I can see you hate the way we intermingle / But I think you're just mad 'cause you're single."
**STRONGER THAN YOU**

Jasper sighed in impatience, her arms crossed over her chest as she sat next to Peridot on the bridge of the spaceship. She could already see Homeworld through the front window. So close, and yet so far. She couldn't wait to set her feet back home after enduring a very long trip from the latest colony, but before she could get there, there were Gems to report to, forms to fill in.

Peridot Facet-2F5L Cut-5XG and her colleagues had requested an escort for their mission to check up on the colony's new Kindergarten. They had claimed that there were still resistance groups on the planet and the technician Gems couldn't handle both those and their Kindergarten duties, although the local lifeforms were extremely primitive and weak. Nobody had wanted to go to such a distant planet to protect a bunch of Peridots from the remainders of a weak civilization, so the Peridot in charge of the mission had begged Jasper, her acquaintance—some might call them friends, but some would be exaggerating—for help.

Jasper had agreed, if only because she owed this Peridot a favor. They had this kind of deal in which they would often do favors for each other. Jasper protected Peridot from bigger Gems and escorted her on some missions, and in exchange, Peridot would build or fix things for her. Considering Jasper's strength and lack of grace and delicacy—she was a veteran soldier, not a Pearl, for stars' sake—she often broke things, either on purpose during her training or by accident just being clumsy.

"The resistance was just two small individuals and I crushed them without even trying," Jasper was grumbling. "Even you guys could have handled it. This was such a waste of my time."

"Oh, stop your incessant whining, Jasper," said Peridot, looking grumpy. Then again, she was always grumpy. "It'll be over soon, anyway. I've already gotten permission to land, so just be a little more patient."

Jasper wasn't the only one on board who was eager to arrive on Homeworld. The other Peridots couldn't wait to get away from her. She could hear them whispering to each other about "that brutish Quartz" who kept accidentally stepping on their robonoids (it wasn't always an accident, though) and how they should have brought a Ruby guard instead.

With the exception of her "friend", Jasper despised Peridots as much as they despised her. Cheeky, cowardly, weak little things who thought they were better than her just because they were kind of smart and had a fancy vocabulary. Treating her like a common bodyguard as if she weren't just doing them a favor.

Ruby guards. Hah! Those things weren't even remotely useful unless there was a bunch of them fused together. They were almost as weak as Peridots.

It only took a few minutes for Peridot to land the ship, skilled pilot that she was, although to Jasper it felt like centuries. As soon as the ship opened up for them to disembark, Jasper was the first one out. There were some procedures to follow before she was allowed to go home, but Peridot would take care of most of it, being the Gem in charge of the mission. Jasper didn't feel guilty at all about leaving most of the work to her. Peridot loved doing reports and the like.

"Deliver your report to Yellow Diamond, and then you're cleared," she was instructed by the Chrysoberyl in charge of bureaucracy, indicating the diamond-shaped device that stored her report.

"Is she here?" Jasper asked.

"Yes, but she might be busy preparing for her flight," said the Chrysoberyl. "You can leave your report with her secretary."

"Understood," said Jasper before she left.

She hadn't even known that Yellow Diamond had a secretary, but that shouldn't really have come as a surprise. Yellow Diamond was a very busy Gem, after all, responsible for the military and strategic plans for Homeworld and all of its outline colonies. Every time Jasper had had the opportunity to speak to her directly, Yellow Diamond had been so busy multitasking that she had barely spared Jasper a glance.

She knew where Yellow Diamond's main ship was in the enormous hangar and made her way there at a brisk pace, hoping no one would come to talk to her and delay her last task before she could go home.

When she finally reached Yellow Diamond's ship, she found a great assortment of Gems going around busily. A whole team of Peridots, several Jadeite dignitaries with their Pearl servants and Ruby guards, a squad of Jaspers, and some Emerald healers.

However, there was no sign of Yellow Diamond herself.

"Can I help you?" she heard a squeaky, snooty voice ask and turned to see a yellow-colored Pearl. "You're in the way, so just state your business so you can leave."

"Uh..." was all Jasper could say as she was struck by the sight of this Gem she had never seen before. She had seen Pearls, of course, and while they were all graceful, none of them looked quite like this one.

This one was...

She was...

Beautiful.

Well, all Pearls were made to be beautiful. Standing around looking pretty was their _job_. But this one had a certain something that made her different from the others of her kind.

For starters, no Pearl had ever looked at Jasper as if she were dirty on her shoes. Her clothes were also interesting, and Jasper found herself unable to tear her gaze away. She was showing way too much skin, with her gem exposed above her chest, right in the middle of her cleavage, and her long legs visible under a thin material.

"Are you Yellow Diamond's Pearl?" she asked, because aside from her color, the Pearl also had a similar hairdo to Yellow Diamond's.

"That's right," said the yellow Pearl, preening with pride. "I recently got promoted."

"Promoted?" Jasper echoed in confusion. Since when did Pearls get promoted? They only had one job.

"Yellow Diamond values efficiency above aesthetics," explained Yellow Pearl. "So she wanted me to be useful to her and made me her secretary."

"Huh. Fancy that," Jasper remarked, surprised by this piece of information. Again, when she really thought about it, it shouldn't have been such a surprise. Of course Yellow Diamond, known for being the most reasonable, rational, efficient decider ever to exist, would want her own Pearl to actually have a useful, practical function.

"Well?" Yellow Pearl prompted impatiently, startling Jasper out of her thoughts as she realized she had been staring slack-jawed, which was rather undignified for a Gem of her status. She tried to recollect herself into a sterner stance.

"I have to deliver this report to Yellow Diamond," she said, showing her the diamond device. "Where is she?"

"Oh, she's terribly busy now," said Yellow Pearl, her pointy nose turned up. "But you can just leave it with me and I'll give it to her at her earliest opportunity."

"Sure," said Jasper, handing her the device. In the half second that their hands brushed against each other as the device passed from one Gem to the other, Jasper was struck by how different their hands were. Her own hands were big and strong, the hands of a soldier, made for hurting her adversaries.

Pearl's hands, in contrast, were small, thin, and delicate. They weren't made for any sort of hard work, let alone fistfights. She couldn't hurt anyone with her hands even if she tried. Her hands had been made for beauty and for holding things with care, as it was one of the main purposes of Pearls.

Yellow Pearl took the diamond device in her hands as if it were something precious. Her gem glowed to allow her to store the device inside.

"Thank you. You can go now," said Yellow Pearl, waving her hand in dismissal. Without waiting for Jasper's response, she turned around and left, heading for Yellow Diamond's ship.

Jasper just stood where she was, transfixed by the way Yellow Pearl's backside bobbed up and down as she walked, her cheeks partly exposed in that ridiculously skimpy suit of hers.

After Yellow Pearl disappeared into the ship, it was like a spell had been lifted and Jasper came to her senses with a start. She was just now realizing that she had been gawking at a Pearl—and not any Pearl, but Yellow Diamond's Pearl—quite openly, in a public, busy place where anyone could see her.

Burning in embarrassment, she took her leave in a hurry before she ended up making even more a fool of herself.

-x-

She couldn't stop thinking about that Pearl. She didn't know what was wrong with her, and try as she might to keep her old routine, the thought of Yellow Pearl just wouldn't leave her mind for one second.

Everyone else could see something was up with her. Jasper had always been a focused, disciplined soldier. Now, when she trained with other soldiers, she would get easily distracted and lower her guard. She was lucky she hadn't been assigned to a mission, or else she would have surely been poofed or shattered by the enemy by now.

She even got scolded by her superior, who threatened to report this behavior directly to Yellow Diamond if Jasper didn't get her act together soon. Jasper didn't really pay her much mind, though. Throughout the lecture, she kept thinking about Yellow Pearl.

Her subordinates started talking behind her back too, wondering what was on her mind. Other Jaspers just snickered or shook their heads, saying that she was losing her touch.

Finally, Jasper decided to go home. She wasn't getting anything done, aside from amusing, confusing, and exasperating everyone else. She might as well call it a day. Maybe if she took some time off to relax and clear her head, she would start feeling like herself again.

She was confused and exasperated, herself. This wasn't like her. She had never spared another Gem more than a moment's thought, especially not a mere Pearl, a Gem that was barely a Gem, a little more than an object, an ornament.

Thus, she found herself curled up on her side on her resting platform in her room. Fortunately, as a high-raking veteran soldier, she was entitled to her own room and didn't have to expose her pathetic condition to anyone in this place. It was like her little sanctuary.

Just as that thought occurred to her and brought her a small amount of relief, her home's door opened and a green Gem barged in, talking her head off in a voice as obnoxious as nails on glass.

"Hey, Jasper, I brought your image processor. It took me forever to find out what was wrong with it, but I think it's fixed now. I tested it at home, and it works just fine, but do try to keep your meat hands off of it if you can help it. I built a remote control device so that you can operate it without touching it. Try not to break it, either."

So much for her private sanctuary.

Oblivious to Jasper's dismay, Peridot laid the image processor and the remote control on one of Jasper's empty shelves. Seeming to notice Jasper's lack of response, Peridot finally turned around to look at her.

"Jasper? Are you all right?" she asked, frowning at Jasper's lying, motionless form.

"Peridot," Jasper rasped. "Come here. I want you to do something for me."

Peridot rolled her eyes and sighed ostensibly, but complied and approached Jasper. "All right, what did you break this time?"

"My gem, I think."

"What?!" Peridot looked honestly alarmed and worried, and ran the rest of the way to Jasper to have a look at her gem. Her eyes narrowed and she looked from several angles, tilting her head this way and that. "It doesn't look broken, or even cracked. What happened? Are you experiencing any pain or discomfort in your gem?"

"No," Jasper replied, "but there's something wrong with my head. I just can't stop thinking about..." She bit her lip, catching herself just in time. She wasn't sure she wanted to share this detail with Peridot, or anyone.

"About...?" Peridot prompted, oblivious to Jasper's inner turmoil.

Then again, now that she had already brought it up, Peridot wasn't going to leave her alone until Jasper told her everything. Damn Peridot and her curiosity. Besides, maybe if Jasper got this off her chest, she would feel better.

"Yellow Diamond's Pearl," she whispered, her whole being filled with shame. She could barely look Peridot in the eyes.

Peridot was confused by Jasper's answer. "Yellow Diamond's Pearl?" she repeated slowly to make sure she had heard it correctly. When Jasper remained silent, Peridot prodded again, "What about her?"

"I met her for the first time when I went to deliver my report about our latest mission to Yellow Diamond," Jasper elaborated reluctantly. "She said she was Yellow Diamond's secretary."

Peridot nodded, still frowning in confusion. "Yes, that is correct. And then what happened?"

"She was kind of rude to me," Jasper went on. "I was really surprised."

"Yes, she's not a very amicable Pearl," Peridot commented in distaste. "She only respects Yellow Diamond." She grumbled something unintelligible under her breath, and then shook her head and turned her attention back to Jasper. "And?"

"And that was it. I haven't been able to stop thinking about her ever since," Jasper confessed. "It's driving me crazy. It's interfering with my training."

Peridot's curious frown suddenly turned into an angry scowl. "What did that clod say to you? I'm assuming she told you off and you couldn't think of a proper comeback, and that is why you are still fixated with your distressing encounter with her," Peridot theorized. She crossed her arms over her chest and muttered, "Trust me, I know the feeling."

"No, you got it all wrong!" Jasper protested, sitting up abruptly and almost knocking Peridot over in the process. She threw up her hands in exasperation. "I was actually impressed! She was amazing! She was gorgeous! She had guts!"

Peridot's eyes went impossibly wide under her visor and she fell eerily silent. Jasper suddenly realized what she had just said out loud and cringed, but it was too late to take it back now.

After several very long, very uncomfortable moments, Peridot's grimace tentatively turned into a smile and she started laughing. It began as a quiet, uncertain giggle and then it evolved into a full-blown guffaw. Jasper just stared at her. Peridot laughed so hard that she had to hold her sides, and tears of mirth surged at the corner of her eyes. She wiped them when she finally got a grip on herself and attempted to stifle her laughter.

"I get it," she said between muffled giggles. "It's a joke, right? You almost got me." Her shoulders continued to shake from laughing.

"It's not a joke!" said Jasper, feeling offended by the implication that she would stoop to cracking distasteful jokes. She was a proud warrior, not a court jester, for stars' sake! "I meant every word I said!"

Peridot had gone back to staring in abject silence again. She lifted her hands as if she wanted to grab Jasper by the shoulders and possibly shake her into her senses, but she refrained from actually going through with this motion. Even Peridot knew better than to touch a higher-ranking Gem that way, even if they were almost like friends.

"But—Jasper, that—that's impossible!" Peridot stuttered. "She's—she's just a Pearl! She's beneath you!"

"I know!" Jasper shouted, pulling at her own hair. "That's why I think there's something wrong with me! This has never happened to me before! I don't know what's going on! I must be broken on the inside!"

"Jasper, calm down! You're rambling!" Peridot shouted even louder. She herself took a deep, calming breath. "Look, I can get you help. I'll bring an Emerald—"

"No, you can't!" Jasper interrupted her, grabbing her by the front of her suit to bring her closer and shake the inane idea out of her. "Nobody can know about this! It's mortifying enough that I've told you. I can't risk this getting out. Best case scenario, I'll be the laughing stock of Homeworld! Worst case scenario, I'll be deemed a hopeless case and be broken! You know relationships between different types of Gems are strictly forbidden. If word gets out that I even considered it, even for just a moment..." Jasper's voice trailed off and she shook her head. Her thoughts were already going dangerous ways. She needed to think about this problem from a different angle. "I just need to figure out what's wrong with me. Maybe I need some time in my think chamber. It could be some sort of mind-altering defect that I need to correct!"

"Y—you're right!" said Peridot with a nod, still caught in Jasper's firm grip. "I understand your predicament, Jasper. Don't worry, I won't inform anyone of this problem, at least for now. I'll look into mind-controlling and brainwashing diseases that can affect Gems and hopefully we can find a solution on our own. But if it turns out to be something really bad or complicated, I'm afraid we'll have no choice but to contact an expert."

Jasper nodded, inwardly relieved that Peridot had listened to her and understood and was even offering to help her. Peridot was smart and hardworking. She would surely find a solution to Jasper's problem in no time.

-x-

After taking a couple of days off, Jasper resumed her routine. She was used to action, to making herself useful even when she wasn't on some off-planet campaign, so being cooped up in her room doing nothing was beginning to do more harm than good. She had to find a way to occupy her mind with something other than thoughts of that Pearl.

She actually managed to deal with her duties a little better than last time. She was focused as long as she was fighting or giving instructions to the newly emerged soldiers she was training. They listened to her, no joking or gossiping behind her back. Her superiors were satisfied.

Nevertheless, whenever she had to take a break and was left alone with her thoughts, there was Yellow Pearl again. Jasper kept wondering things about her. What was Pearl doing right now? Had she already returned to Homeworld? Did she ever think about Jasper, too? Did she even remember her?

Jasper was overtaken by the urge to see her again. Would Yellow Pearl be glad to see her? She hadn't seemed terribly thrilled on their first meeting, but she hadn't seemed to hate Jasper, either. Maybe if they got to know each other better... they might... enjoy each other's company?

A Jasper and a Pearl. It was ridiculous. It was unheard of. The hierarchy gap was too wide. There was an abyss between them. There was no way it could ever work out.

What would fusing with a Pearl feel like?

Jasper shook her head, scared of the increasingly strange ideas that were crossing her mind. Had she really considered, even if just for a second, a fusion with the Pearl? She was definitely going insane.

Fusion was a battle tactic. It was only allowed between Gems of the same type. Jasper had never disobeyed this rule. She knew what fusing with another Jasper felt like, although she had seldom resorted to it. It was nothing special. She had always felt like herself, just bigger.

She was an Earth War veteran, though. She had seen rebel Gems of different types fuse. They would become giant, monstrous abominations. It was completely against nature.

And yet, they had always seemed so happy and eager to fuse. It was an expression of love, "the ultimate connection between Gems," according to them. Jasper hadn't even known Pearls were capable of fusing, until she had seen Rose Quartz's defective, renegade Pearl fuse in battle.

If that Pearl could do it, so could Yellow Pearl, right? What kind of Gem would they be together? No, she had to stop this train of thought! Where was Peridot with the cure to this... whatever this was?

As soon as she got home, she turned on her communicator and called Peridot. The technician was probably still at work, but this was an emergency. It couldn't wait.

It took a few moments, but Peridot finally answered her call. The screen with her face came to life before Jasper. Peridot looked annoyed.

"Jasper, this is not a good time," said Peridot, keeping her voice low.

"But it's an emergency!" Jasper argued. "It's getting worse! Have you found a solution yet?"

Peridot sighed heavily and held a hand to her forehead, her floating fingers rubbing at her Gem as if it ached. "Jasper, I haven't had nearly enough time to do proper research on it!" she explained. "I can't get to it now. I'm really busy here. My manager is breathing down my neck, and we've been all cracking our heads trying to figure out how to fix the—" she was cut off when an alarm at her workplace was set off and a red light started flashing. Peridot looked frightened.

"Oh, no, the reactor..." she gasped just as some other Peridot was screaming off-screen, "It's going to explode!"

And explode it did. There was a loud boom and it probably sent Peridot flying into the air, because the screen somersaulted and moved rapidly for a few moments before it settled on the ground for just a second. Jasper could still hear the alarm and some panicked screaming, and she also caught a glimpse of fire and disembodied gems lying around before the connection was finally cut off and the screen disappeared.

Jasper sighed, turning off the communicator. Seemed like a busy day at Peridot's workplace today. She really hoped Peridot didn't get poofed in the explosion. It would only delay Peridot's mission to look into a solution for her problem.

-x-

Unfortunately, it seemed that Peridot had indeed been killed in the explosion, or maybe her communicator had been badly damaged by it. No matter how many times Jasper tried to contact her, she never got an answer. It had been days now.

Without Peridot's support, Jasper felt like her thoughts were getting even more out of control. She was beginning to question why two Gems of different types, classes, and ranks couldn't be together. She and Peridot got along just fine and no one complained about it. Why couldn't a Jasper and a Pearl have a similar relationship, only a little more intimate? Couldn't they at least be friends?

Jasper really, really wanted to meet Yellow Pearl again. Maybe they could become friends, and then, once they felt comfortable enough around each other, Jasper would confess her feelings and propose a fusion. Or, maybe a more realistic scenario, a second meeting would prove Peridot's words about Yellow Pearl's nature and Jasper would realize she wasn't as beautiful or as fascinating as she had first seemed, and the magic spell cast on her would be broken. She would see that Pearl was nothing but a shiny toy, a weak, brainless Gem whose only useful ability was to store her owner's belongings inside her gem.

The news of the explosion in Peridot's work station had already spread to all of Homeworld. A newly emerged Peridot in training had messed up and caused the explosion, which had severely damaged the whole building. It was some sort of power plant, so it had affected the power supply to several sectors and departments in Yellow Diamond's jurisdiction, not to mention destroyed the projected forms of a whole team of Peridots, Chrysoberyls, and other casualties. Fortunately, no permanently damaged Gems, so they would all recover in time.

Apparently, the incident was more serious than Jasper had thought when she had lost contact with Peridot. It was serious enough that Yellow Diamond would anticipate her return to Homeworld. She would personally come to look at the damage and start planning its repairs and such. And with Yellow Diamond came her loyal Pearl secretary.

What had started as a minor setback had just presented itself as a great opportunity. Jasper could finally see Yellow Pearl again, and much sooner than expected.

-x-

The explosion had caused considerable damage. Jasper even felt a twinge of sympathy for Peridot. Getting caught in that explosion in such short range had to be very unpleasant. On the other hand, it wasn't the first time it had happened. She would be fine.

Security squad Gems had isolated the damaged area so that no overly curious passersby would get too close and risk increasing the casualties. As a high-ranking soldier, however, Jasper had clearance to get past the safety barriers.

It didn't take long for her to find Yellow Diamond, just as Jasper had expected. With her impressive 20-foot frame, Yellow Diamond was hard to miss. Yellow Pearl was less visible, but she was indeed there, right next to her owner.

"This will definitely delay our campaign on planet Zeta," Yellow Diamond was commenting to her Pearl. She had one hand to her forehead, as if fending off a headache, although everyone knew this gesture was merely symbolic, a sign of aggravation. Diamonds didn't actually get headaches. "This new line of Peridots is a menace."

"I completely agree, my Diamond!" Yellow Pearl replied, puffing out her chest as she surveyed the damage alongside Yellow Diamond. "Their manufacture should be terminated and their Kindergartens shut down. Chrysoberyls can probably replace them, with some adaptations."

"Unfortunately, we can't afford to waste any time or resources trying to turn Chrysoberyls into Peridots," said Yellow Diamond. "As clumsy as they may be, they _are_ remarkable technicians. They're an asset to Homeworld."

Yellow Pearl dared not contradict her Diamond, but she was visibly unhappy. Turning her face so Yellow Diamond couldn't see it, the Pearl pulled her lips into a pout and silently fumed. Jasper couldn't help but feel amused. She wondered if Yellow Pearl was just upset that her idea had been rejected, or if she actually had some sort of grudge against Peridots, or maybe against other Gems in general. Maybe all of the above. Jealousy. What an amusing emotion for a Pearl to have!

"Well, I'm needed elsewhere now," Yellow Diamond told her Pearl. "You will stay here. You know what to do. If anything important comes up, you will inform me immediately."

"Yes, my Diamond!" Yellow Pearl acquiesced, crossing her arms over her chest and forming a diamond shape with the back of her hands, the official sign of deference to Yellow Diamond.

Without another word, Yellow Diamond left the site. Yellow Pearl wasted no time herself and summoned a device from her gem. She turned it on and a screen lit up, on which she could take notes and pictures. Whenever she sighted something particularly damaged, she would snap a picture and furiously type comments on it, shaking her head or sniffing in disapproval.

This really was Jasper's lucky day. Not only did she get to see Yellow Pearl again sooner than expected, she was also presented with the opportunity to be left alone with her—well, relatively alone, at least away from Yellow Diamond's watchful eyes—and even talk to her.

She had been so eager for this moment, however, that now she wasn't even sure what she should say. "Hey, remember me?" Too needy. "Nice to see you again?" Too sappy. "Missed me much?" Too cocky. "You look pretty?" What? No, no, definitely not.

"Um..." she mumbled, and it must have come out louder than she had intended, because Pearl heard her and turned around to face her.

"Hello?" Yellow Pearl greeted her uncertainly, arching an eyebrow.

"Hey, remember me?" Jasper found herself saying. As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she wished she could beat herself up, instead silently reproaching herself for initiating the conversation in a way she had already decided wasn't a good one.

"Of course I remember you," said the Pearl, smiling, but with a hint of condescension. "You're the Jasper who delivered a report about your latest mission. You left your report with me shortly before we departed from Homeworld."

Jasper was still for a moment, surprised that Yellow Pearl actually remembered her and the circumstances of their first meeting. Granted, it hadn't happened such a long time ago, but Yellow Pearl still remembered her specifically, despite the fact that she probably saw many Jaspers every day.

What could she say next? Again, the words just seemed to flow from her mouth. "Nice to see you again." What was she saying? This was not how a veteran soldier was supposed to talk to a lesser Gem!

"Nice to see you, too," replied the Pearl, with that strange combination of polite and condescending, as if she were just humoring Jasper.

Again, the technically positive answer threw Jasper off and she struggled to get a grip on the situation. Coming up with something intelligent to say was proving quite difficult.

"Missed me much?" she ended up asking. She fought the urge to punch herself. She kept saying exactly what she had decided _not_ to say.

"Why would I miss you?" the Pearl asked, frowning in confusion. "I barely even know you."

Jasper didn't have a good answer to that. She just stared at Yellow Pearl, at a loss for words, just admiring the way she stood straight up. Perfect posture, like a soldier's, but a lot more elegant.

"You look pretty," she finally admitted, her voice heavy with resignation.

Yellow Pearl was taken aback by Jasper's words and suddenly looked as lost as the soldier. Her eyes were wide, but still caught in a slight frown of puzzlement. Her lips parted and moved soundlessly for a moment as if she couldn't decide what to say.

Jasper herself was mortified by her own words, but the Pearl's reaction intrigued her, too. She hadn't really said anything outrageous. Pearls in general _were_ pretty. That was the point. Calling a Pearl pretty was a harmless statement of the obvious. It was like calling a Jasper strong. Why was this Pearl reacting like no one had ever pointed out that she was pretty?

Was Jasper actually the first Gem who had ever said it?

This wasn't going as well as Jasper had hoped. What was she even doing here, shirking her duties to come on to Yellow Diamond's Pearl of all Gems?

Yellow Pearl looked like she had finally settled on something to say. She opened her mouth... and had no time to say anything when Jasper turned tail and ran.

-x-

She had panicked.

Jasper never panicked. She was a seasoned warrior, a loyal soldier to the great Yellow Diamond. She faced her battles head-on (often literally) no matter the odds. She didn't panic.

Except that she just had. After completely making a fool of herself, she just ran away like a coward. What was wrong with her? She had to be ill. She was cracking on the inside.

She found herself in a Gem recovery unit, where the victims of the explosion were kept under supervision until they could regenerate their physical forms.

Jasper could only stare and glare at the triangular green Gem labeled Peridot Facet-2F5L Cut-5XG. As it was surrounded by a protective force field, Jasper could only rant at it helplessly and attract some odd stares from the recovery unit staff, which Jasper did her best to ignore.

"Why did you have to go and get yourself killed?" she asked the lifeless gem. "You should be looking for a solution to my problem like you promised, not just... lying there doing nothing!" Jasper started pounding her fist against the force field repeatedly. "Hurry up and regenerate already, you useless green pebble!"

"Um... Jasper?" said one of the Emeralds from the staff timidly. "I'm sorry, but unless you need our help, I'm going to have to ask you to leave. You're disturbing the staff and the recovering Gems."

Jasper actually considered, for a moment, asking the Emeralds for help. That was what they were for, right? However, these Gems usually dealt with cracked, broken, or poofed Gems. Her own gem seemed to be fine. What could they do for her? Would they even want to help her once they learned what was wrong with her? Would they judge her? Would they _report_ her?

No, she couldn't trust them. She would rather wait for Peridot to reform. Reluctantly, she stepped away from Peridot's dome and left to go home.

-x-

As much as Jasper tried to act like her old self when she was training, she couldn't stop herself from thinking about that Pearl when she found herself alone. It was sick. She was sick. Surprisingly, these self-berating thoughts didn't make her feel any better. If anything, she felt even worse, even more ashamed.

She used the image processor that Peridot had recently fixed and accessed Homeworld's network to search for images of Yellow Pearl. It was a bit tricky. Unlike other types of Gems, Pearls didn't have their own identity. They didn't have serial numbers, facets, or cuts. The only semblance of identity they had was their association with their owners.

Thus, Jasper had to search for images of Yellow Diamond and look for those in which Yellow Pearl happened to be beside her owner. There weren't many and they weren't easy to find. Unlike other elite Gems, Yellow Diamond didn't flaunt her Pearl. She didn't care for aesthetics, only efficiency and usefulness. She had given her Pearl an actual job instead of bringing her everywhere and just letting her stand around looking pretty.

When she finally found a few pictures of Yellow Pearl, she just allowed herself to admire them, committing every little detail to memory. The way her nose was always turned up, uncharacteristically proud for a Pearl. The way her hair also stood up, mirroring her owner's. The way her lips were always curled into a smug smile or a sneer, denoting her strong personality. What a strange, special Pearl.

Looking at these pictures of Yellow Pearl ended up becoming part of her daily routine. She imagined them talking, laughing together. She wondered what her skin felt like. It looked smooth and nice to the touch, like the gem in her chest.

Despite her abrasive manner, she looked so fragile, so thin, so delicate. Jasper wanted to envelope her in her strong arms and hold her close, feel her soft hair under her chin...

"Jasper!" a nasal voice suddenly called out as her door flew open. If Jasper weren't a proud soldier, she would probably have yelped in undignified fright at the abrupt, noisy intrusion. As it was, she did nearly jump out of her projected skin.

"Peridot?!" she shouted, both in surprise at seeing her sort-of friend back and annoyance that she had barged in once again as if she owned the place. It was no use scolding her about it, though. It was equally useless to change the access code in her door lock. Peridot took delight in cracking it. "When did you get back?" Jasper asked her, noting that she was wearing her limb enhancers, which looked brand new, as if the explosion had never happened.

"Several days ago," Peridot answered, making herself at home.

"What?! That fast?" Jasper was incredulous. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"Because I wanted to work in peace," Peridot replied, unrepentant. "I had to fix my limb enhancers," she said, gesturing at them. "Also, I've been doing a lot of research about your little problem." She paused, her eyes focusing on something behind Jasper, and frowned. "Did you really hang a picture of the Pearl on your wall?"

Jasper felt her face burn. "Shut up and tell me what you found out!"

"That's a paradox, Jasper," Peridot criticized. "How can I shut up and tell you anything at the same time?" she questioned quite seriously. It was typical of her to get hung up about semantics.

"Just tell me already!" Jasper snapped before Peridot could go on a tangent.

"I couldn't actually find anything conclusive!" Peridot snapped back, gesturing wildly with her robotic arms and fingers. "There are no Gem-affecting illnesses that can make you obsessed with another Gem! The only material I found that described something remotely resembling your condition was some literate Pearl's old diary about how much she loved her Quartz mistress!"

"Love..." Jasper whispered, dazed, feeling as if she had been hit by a war hammer. Peridot's voice faded into white noise in the background as Jasper struggled to come to terms with the implications of what Peridot had just told her.

Love was... not unheard of. It wasn't a completely foreign concept in Gem culture, although it wasn't something that was usually discussed in polite company. Gems were capable of love. They loved their Diamonds, naturally. It wasn't unusual for Pearls to love their mistresses, and sometimes said mistresses even loved their Pearls back. But love between Gems of different types and classes? Again, it wasn't unheard of, but it was strange, almost as unnatural as fusion between different Gems. It was certainly not encouraged.

Thousands of years ago, many Gems had defected to Earth to join Rose Quartz's little rebellion because one of the causes she had fought for was love. Rose Quartz believed that Gems should be allowed to openly love each other, no matter how different they were. Jasper had always found the whole notion ridiculous and thought of those traitorous Gems as weak fools.

What if she was actually in love, though? Maybe love wasn't a feeling like Rose Quartz had professed, but a sickness. She was sick, all right! She was lovesick! There, now that word made sense to her. That was why she couldn't stop thinking about Yellow Pearl and why she had this relentless need to be beside her.

"So, as you can see," Peridot was droning on, oblivious to Jasper's distress, "you're probably just suffering from stress, but there's a 5.5% chance that your gem has taken minor damage from the inside, which is really no surprise, considering your main battle strategy is to hit your adversary with your head. I suggest you get some rest and have your gem checked with appropriate gem-scanning equipment."

Jasper had to fight the urge to punch Peridot. It was like she was talking about a broken machine! Did she even care how Jasper felt? Silly question, of course she didn't care. To Peridot, Jasper really was a broken machine that just needed some quick fixing. She doubted Peridot even realized what she had just discovered and easily dismissed as nonsense.

"Damn it, Peridot!" Jasper finally shouted. "I love that Pearl! I love her!"

Peridot recoiled.

"And I want to fuse with her!" There. She had said it. She actually felt good once the words were out. She didn't even feel shame anymore. On the contrary, she felt sort of proud.

"You're insane," Peridot whispered and her eyes shifted to the sides fearfully. "What if someone hears you? You're going to be banished, or worse, broken! Just keep your mouth shut and let me help you!"

"I don't need your help!" Jasper shouted even louder. "I don't need you! I need _her_!"

"Fine, you ungrateful clod!" Peridot shouted back, her temper getting the better of her. She threw up her hands. "Go elope with that filthy Pearl and get yourself shattered by Yellow Diamond! See if I care!"

Jasper frowned both at the insult directed to herself and the one to Yellow Pearl. "You watch that mouth of yours, Peridot. It's going to get you into serious trouble someday," she growled.

"No, it won't, because I have more sense than you!" Peridot pointed out before she finally left Jasper's home.

Jasper huffed and muttered a few choice words about Peridot, glad the arrogant technician was gone. At least Jasper actually had feelings. Peridot might as well be made of cold metal just like her limbs and robots.

Once she was certain that Peridot was far gone, Jasper left and headed for Yellow Diamond's hall, where she usually stayed when on Homeworld. She marched there like a soldier going to what might be her last battle. Grimly resolute, eager for the challenge, and a little bit anxious, although she hid it well.

Thanks to her rank, no one stopped her on her way. At long last, she reached the fore-chamber to Yellow Diamond's control room. Yellow Pearl was there, checking messages on a screen with a bored expression.

"Oh, it's you again," she said when Jasper came in, a teasing smile on her lips. "Miss me much?" she asked, echoing Jasper's question from their previous exchange.

Jasper knew Yellow Pearl was just teasing her—if not outright mocking her—but she still answered honestly, "Yes."

Yellow Pearl actually giggled, and the sound made Jasper's whole projected body tingle with warmth.

"You're the most entertaining Gem I've ever met," said Yellow Pearl, getting back to work on her screen. "Anyway, I assume you're here to see Yellow Diamond? Do you have an appointment?"

"No," said Jasper without missing a beat. "I'm here to see you."

"Oh," said Yellow Pearl, taken aback. She turned to look at Jasper, giving the soldier her full attention for the first time. She looked thoroughly confused. In all likelihood, no one had ever actually wanted to talk to _her_. She was nothing but an intermediary between Yellow Diamond and other Gems.

Jasper glanced at the huge golden door that led to Yellow Diamond's control room. She didn't doubt that the Gem matriarch was in there and could come out at any moment.

"Can we go somewhere private? I need to talk to you. Alone."

Yellow Pearl considered her request, throwing a slightly nervous look to the golden door as well.

"I can't leave for long, but..." she said, measuring her words. "As long as you make it quick." She put a hand next to her mouth, partially covering it from view, and whispered in a conspiratorial tone, "I know the perfect place."

-x-

Yellow Pearl led her to a veranda with a magnificent view to what looked like a garden, except it was decorated with shiny common gemstones instead of vegetation. Pink Diamond had been famous for having gardens with plant life back in the day, when it was still sustainable on Homeworld. Yellow Diamond's garden looked beautiful, but lifeless in comparison. Not that Jasper would ever dare to voice this opinion, of course.

"This is where Yellow Diamond likes to stay for a minute when she needs to think about a difficult problem without being interrupted," Yellow Pearl explained. "Only she and I have access to it, and I know for a fact she won't be coming here any time soon. It's a completely secluded place. No one will know we were here."

"Good..." said Jasper under her breath, actually impressed. The place really was perfect, just as Yellow Pearl had promised.

"That's right," said Yellow Pearl coyly, turning her back to Jasper and hugging herself, looking over shoulder. "Be quick now."

Wait, what?

What was Yellow Pearl doing?

What did she think Jasper was doing?

"I don't understand," said Jasper slowly.

Yellow Pearl looked surprised and confused again. She stopped posing and turned around to fully face Jasper. Her hands were raised loosely, as if she didn't know what to do with them.

"I... thought you wanted to touch me?" said the Pearl, looking lost. "That's why you wanted to be alone with me, right?" She laughed nervously, her shoulders shaking jerkily. "I mean, why else would an elite soldier want to be alone with Yellow Diamond's Pearl?"

Jasper felt cold as realization dawned on her. The way she had said it, it seemed it was a common thing for elite soldiers to pursue Yellow Pearl. To... touch her. Just touch her, or touch her in unspeakable ways? Gems liked to covet their superiors' Pearls, fantasize that the Pearl was theirs instead, but Jasper had no idea that there were Gems who actually tried to touch a Diamond's Pearl.

Not that Jasper herself hadn't been fantasizing the same thing. But that wasn't why she had come. She wasn't just going to use her and then discard her like nothing had happened so she could boast about her daring escapade with her fellow soldiers.

"I'm not like them!" she said out loud. "I don't want just your body! I want you! I love you!"

If possible, the Pearl's eyes became even wider. Jasper stepped closer and took her limp hand in her own hands.

"I can give you more than the life of a Pearl," she promised. "I can treat you like no other Gem has treated you, or ever will." She squeezed the small, delicate hand and looked earnestly into her eyes. "Pearl... fuse with me!"

A long moment passed in silence as Jasper's words slowly sank in. Then, Yellow Pearl jerked her hand free from Jasper's gentle grasp and laughed.

It wasn't the good-natured, coy giggle from before. It was a cold, malicious cackle. She half-hid her sarcastic smile behind her hand and looked at Jasper with narrowed eyes.

"That's the most ridiculous and outrageous thing I've ever heard!" she exclaimed. "As if I would ever forsake my Diamond to go rogue with a cracked old Jasper! Get real! I may be a Pearl, but I'm not just any Pearl. I'm Yellow Diamond's Pearl. I have standards, too. And I'll never be yours."

She brushed past Jasper tauntingly on her way out, still snickering.

"You'd better leave before I call security on you."

Jasper had thought she might be broken on the inside. Now she knew that she hadn't been, at the time. Because now she was, and it felt a million times worse.

-x-

"Forget about that clod!" Peridot had said in a clumsy attempt to comfort her. "It would never have worked, anyway! You two are just too different. You aren't compatible at all."

And yet, Jasper couldn't forget about it, although she never mentioned the incident again. For a while, she had even managed to convince herself that Peridot had been right after all. A Jasper and a Pearl were too different and incompatible. And fusion was just a cheap tactic to make weak Gems stronger.

Until her return to Earth, where she found that "shameless display".

A Ruby and a Sapphire. Two very different Gems. Polar opposites, in fact. In love with each other and permanently fused. And proud of it!

It disgusted her.

The way the Ruby struggled in her cell and screamed for her lover.

The way the Sapphire sang to reassure her.

Jasper wished they would shut up.

Thankfully, Peridot refrained from making any remarks, although she did look particularly put off whenever Jasper's temper flared at the two lovers' shows of affection.

 _Go ahead and try and hit me if you're able_

 _Can't you see that my relationship is stable?_

 _I can see you hate the way we intermingle_

 _ **But I think you're just mad 'cause you're single**_

 _And you're not gonna stop what we made together_

 _We are gonna stay like this forever_

 _If you break us apart, we'll just come back newer_

 _ **And we'll always be twice the gem that you are**_

 _I am made of love_

 _And it's **stronger than you**_

Damn those two, flaunting their forbidden, impossible relationship, rubbing it in her face. Did they have any idea how painful it was to look at them? To look at Garnet? Because her existence and strength told Jasper that her relationship with Yellow Pearl hadn't been inherently impossible. Garnet was everything she could never have with someone. What could never be.

Damn Garnet for being _right_.

 **THE END**


End file.
